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Author Tyler Bey pictured above.

“Find It”: A Poetry Collection on Teenage Self-Discovery

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Filth and Perfection

The smell of my rusty cell reminds me

I’m filthy

My teeth are stripped with the nails
that tap
and swipe up and down electronic whiteboards

The words typed, as meaningless as chalk,
Make a sound
It’s chewing;
The grinding of teeth on blue thumbs and red hearts

We tap twice and replace
The beating of our own hearts with
The envious pursuit of perfection

In this asylum

There is no room for blood
There’s no room for art
There’s no room for real teeth
Or real bodies

So we cut and slice our skin
And try to make space for perfection
Finding comfort in the salty warmth under cold knives

The sounds we make when we cut around our bones
Sound like adolescent whimperings under
tightly knit blankets

Our passion for real things
gets watered down
In our perpetual attempt at perfect skin

We spread cold mud on our faces
To try to extract what makes us real

Their comments remind me

I’m filthy

But,

My fire and passion reminds me I can chose to be clean
Can you feel it? The fire?

Think of your passions
The sterilization of your own flame
It’s you
And it’s real

Feel it now? Good.

Now burn it all down
Burn everything else to the ground

And make room

Find your heart in the ashes
Make room for your real skin
Make room for your real teeth

Heal your wounds with fire

And become clean


New Life

I want you to explore the extremes of the meek sky

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freckled in particles
of wonder

Cheeky with kept
secrets

Like fog it never begins or ends

Humans climb higher and higher to avoid the depths, just to find another barrier of mystery

But it is in our destiny to push

When you reach the top of your existence, push further

And slowly with the raise of one hand, like a lying man groping in intimacy,

With your palm held up,
Embrace your hand on the glass of the conditions of life and
push

Push to
New life
new life
new life
new life

At the breaking of the glass, succumb to the currents of reassurance

allow them to overtake you

Release control
and drown

Why are you scared?
the drowning of the sky isn’t chronic

It’s revitalizing

The sky is just another being to explore
And caress
It is our destiny to find the sameness in our extremes
Caress the features of the sky
Gently reciprocate to its vulnerability

Allow the current to overtake you
And pull through
To
New life
new life
new life
new life


Do you Believe in Magic?

Do you believe in magic?
There are moments where you can’t help but to

Find them

and never let go

I regret all the times no matter how small
Where I allowed logic to control my destination

Logic isn’t enough for me

What I want is illogical

But I will have it

In foreign moments, I can no longer
feel it
And the magic is replaced with vertigo
The magic is replaced with a feeling that I’ve lost control

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And I fall

In the depths of the mysterious waters I feel free

I’m only sinking
Deepening
To the bottom

When I open my eyes, I realize my lost treasure was on this side of existing all along

It’s illogical to still be conscious so deep underwater

It’s illogical to search your entire life for your lost treasure

But it’s what I want
No matter how impossible

I’ll sink until I fly
I’ll breathe underwater
I’ll fall and soar

And I’ll believe in magic

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