Advice / all

Do parents understand their kids?

by share

What parents get wrong

There are many things that parents get wrong about their children and teenagers. Some people think that their children are fine and they know everything happening in their kids’ lives. But in reality, they only know what they can see. Teenagers have way more things to go through than their parents now. Parents sometimes believe they know best but they don’t have a lot of knowledge about today’s problems. Misperceptions are a natural part of parenting. There is no single cause of parental misperceptions, but one place to start looking is in the mirror. We have far more information about ourselves than we do about other people. We also make highly subjective judgments about ourselves. Judith Rich Harris, psychology researcher and author states in her book, “The Nature of Assumption’, “The self-serving bias gives people an exaggerated sense of their own uniqueness.” This is why they promote optimism in the following things.

High standards

Many parents expect a lot from their kids in today’s society. They must consider that today’s kids have to deal with technology, higher expectations, and more. A lot of mental damage can be done by parents setting unrealistic standards for their kids. Some mental health problems that can develop are anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, frustration, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, etc. Socially prescribed perfectionism is a big type of mental stress that their own social circle puts on them. Teenagers strive to meet unrealistically high standards that they believe other people expect of them. This tends to lead to natural negativity bias amongst young teens. High standards can also cause mood swings. High expectations can lead to disappointment when outcomes do not meet reality. Most health/mental issues that can come from high standards are eating disorders, high blood pressure, and thoughts of suicide.


Many parents stress the importance of education for their teenagers because they want the best for success and life for their children so that they don’t have to worry in the future, but this can lead to academic pressure and neglect of mental and physical health. One major issue is teens juggling demands. Teens may feel pressure to maintain good grades while also managing homework, tests, and other responsibilities. Technology can also be a problem because it can enhance learning, but with that in mind, it can lead to distractions, miscommunication, and feelings of isolation.

There are so many things that can cause stress in this day and age, so that is why we need to try our best to support these kids who go through things like this so that it makes it easier for them. Examples of helping are helping them manage their time with work, putting them in a quiet room to work/study, being patient with them, and being persistent with checking in with them. 

Social Behavior

There has been an increase in social behavior in teens. Some may think that their kids need to stay in the house or they can not go out with their friends on the weekends, but in reality, they are keeping their kids from exploring both themselves and their relationships with their peers.

Exploration is a key to the development of their brains. Teens want to try new things, so if you are restricting their access to outside interactions, that can hinder their growth as a person.


Parents need to understand that there are some things that they did not go through that today’s kids and teens go through that are on another level like bullying, technology, school, etc. So that is also why we, as teens, need to support each other at all costs. We want to be able to express ourselves and explore the world that we live in.

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