“It’s complicated.” A phrase that everyone has heard before. Whether you are talking, dating, in a situationship, or just plain confused, all the different terms can often get confused. But two terms that spark the most debate seem to be “talking” and “dating.” Many question if there is a difference or are we just complicating things. Here are some VOXers who felt the spark and their opinions.
What is your definition of talking?
“Solidifying that me and this person mutually like each other, want to get to know each other further…hopefully with the end goal being a relationship.” -Amaya A.McGee
“Talking is the stage in which you’re getting to know someone, but you’re not exclusive to the point where you can’t be ‘talking’ to multiple people. It mostly occurs on social media DMs and text messages. When you’re ‘talking’ to someone, you haven’t yet established a label of the relationship, but at the same time you’re letting the person know you’re interested in them.” -Zariah Taylor
“Before you start dating someone you’re trying to figure out who you want to date so you ‘talk’ to people. If they aren’t in your interest, there’s no break up, you just leave.” -Jazlynn Mitchell Garland
“My definition of talking is the phase of getting to know each other towards a potential relationship.”
Do you think there is a difference between talking and dating? Why or why not?
“Yes. Dating occurs more-so in person. You’re still getting to know one another, but a lot of times you’re going out on dates and spending one on one time together. Whether or not you date multiple people is really up to you and the person you’re dating. You have to set boundaries, because some people look at dating as something where you’re dating multiple people, whereas others think it has to be exclusive with just one person. Personally, I feel like when you say ‘dating,’ it means you’re doing it with multiple people and keeping your options open. But it differs from person to person. You have to be open with the people you’re dating and let them know they’re not the only person on the roster.” -Zariah Taylor
“There is definitely a difference because when you’re dating someone, you chose them after you got to know them. Talking is like the level just below dating when you figure out their name and what they look like. Basic stuff. When you start dating them however, you get to know more.” -Jazlynn Mitchell Garland
“Yes, I believe talking is more casual. There is no mutual agreement that you’re with the person. Dating, on the other hand, is more definitive.” -Isabella Cavienss
While some are on the fence:
“Yes and no. Talking can sometimes just be simple on the phone conversations, and dating is an in-person conversation usually doing some activity generally planned out ahead of time. The confusion comes in when people align dating with being in a fully committed relationship. I personally am a little confused myself.” -Amaya A. McGee
Why does our generation refer to the term “talking” more?
“This generation has a level of commitment issues, and is afraid to use the old school term dating. Like I feel like we deal out when we say, ‘oh we’re dating’ when it simply just means we’re hanging out. Maybe it’s because dating sounds a little more serious, which it kind of is.” -Amaya A. McGee
“This generation prefers talking for the same reason I do. Getting super attached to someone when dating is tough when you go your separate ways, so not having the pressure of being linked to someone with the dating title can relieve the stress. Only thing about that is that people start asking when you’re going to start dating them.” – Jazlynn Mitchell Garland
On the other hand, some VOXers think little of the reasoning:
“It’s another slang word to be honest. It’s not that deep. Our generation tends to overcomplicate things. It doesn’t need to be any deeper than just ‘Let’s get to know each other and see where it goes from there.’ Making it a separate ‘stage’ of a relationship just makes things more complicated.” -Zariah Taylor
“Our generation prefers the phrase ‘talking’ because there is no explicit commitment. The talking stage is more so like the initial getting to know each other stage and ‘just vibing.’” -Isabella Cavienss
Do you prefer the term talking or dating?
“Me, personally, I don’t believe in the term talking because talking is simply the act of communicating with another individual. I talk to my parents every day, lol. At a certain age, if you want to get to know me on a deeper level and you like me or have romantic interest, we gotta go on a date. If not, it’s simply just a conversation between friends. This topic is definitely debatable. Everyone’s opinion is probably different based on their personal experiences. Overall, as long as there is mutual respect, communication, and boundaries you can call it whatever you want.” -Amaya A. McGee
And others prefer talking:
“I use talking just because a lot of people in my age group use it so I don’t have to explain what it means. I feel like most people have a consistent definition of what talking means. I don’t really use dating because I feel like it’s a bit old fashioned, plus I feel like there’s a lot of confusion around what constitutes dating. Some people think dating has to be exclusive while others think you can date multiple people at the same time. Rather than naming the different stages of the relationship, you should just talk to your partner and let them know what things are and whether or not you’re allowed to ‘talk’ or ‘date’ with different people, so that way you’re not looking stupid when you find out you’re just another person on their roster, lol.” -Zariah Taylor
“I prefer talking because you can’t get too attached to the person in case they aren’t your type or vice versa.”- Jazlynn Mitchell Garland