Repeated Cycles & Injuries:
Lust. Rush. Excitement. Disappointment.
Everything I experience when it comes to you.
I never know what to do anymore.
I swear I’m going insane.
I feel as though I should because you want me to
But I know it’s not right because I wouldn’t want the hurt of being cheated on done to me like you’re doing to her.
Why can’t we stop? Why can’t I stop?
Why am I letting our past interfere with your present?
She is who you’re with not me.
And if we keep going, I know it will scar me in the end.
This is Round 2.
This is our repeating cycle of on and off.
Hot & cold.
Left & right.
I don’t want that anymore.
I don’t want “sometimes” or “whenever”.
I want always & forever.
I can’t get that. Not like this.
Not when you’re promising it to someone else
Someone you’ve known.
Someone you care about.
Someone you love.
And it isn’t me. It never was.
This is me. I know my place now and it’s no where important.
I’ve fallen through the cracks with time.
I’m disappearing & only you can bring me back.
I’m no longer calling your name.
No longer begging you to rescue me because if you really wanted to,
I wouldn’t be gone.