Introduction

It’s never easy losing somebody, and sometimes it’s even harder to get all your feelings out. With the approaching of Blue November, national grief awareness month, VOX visited the teens at Kate’s Club, a non-profit organization aiding youth who have lost a loved one. These are their voices.  #FaceGriefTogether

• Manuel Portillo, VOX staff

Just Listen

By Jenna Viehmeyer, 14

“You’ll get through it.”

”It gets easier.”

“It doesn’t hurt as much after sometime.”

“It seems like the end but push through— there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.”

“It’s hard but it will get easier.”

“I understand.”

These are all thing people say to me. It doesn’t help. I wish people would understand that telling me it’s going to get better doesn’t help. There are only a few things that have helped, and none of them were some of those cheesy sayings.

Don’t tell me you understand because most people don’t. The people that help the most are the people who’ve (gone) through it. And I’ve learned to stick close to to people (who) have had similar experiences.

It doesn’t help being around “perfect” families, because once you leave that family you really start to feel the absence and it kills you inside.

I wish people would understand people like me need someone to talk to them. We need people to vent to, not people that will just tell us some inspirational thing they found on Google. Although we appreciate everything everyone has done for us. We just need people to talk to. It helps more to vent then to be told, “it gets better.”

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By Yaadanii Abajobir, 15  

I drew fire. I know it may not look like it but that’s kinda the point. I want people to understand that people going through grief can [be] destructive and totally different from the “norm,” but that’s okay because grief can be beautiful and can come in so many different forms. Just remember that….

My dad died, and that’s okay.

Never Give Up

By Jessica Spurgeon, 13

My life is complicated. Sometimes that is good. Sometimes not so much. When my mother died, I almost fell apart, but my family and friends held me together. I went to the movies, I went to the pool and so many more things. Every now and then I fall apart, but my dad and brother and sisters keep me happy.

Stay strong. Stay happy. Be sad. Find your way to be yourself. And most of all never ever give up. If you haven’t lost someone close to you, that’s fine; just show compassion to the people who have lost a loved one. Kindness is a key to life.

I will never forget the day my mother died, but I will take out the sadness and replace it with love and kindness — to share my story to help others get through what I went through. Forgive, but never forget. They will never leave you. In your heart you know that. You can make a difference. Hold someone’s hand. Hug a friend. Share your story.

Go Through the Sad   

By Gabriella Thomas, 16

Dealing with grief sucks. It really sucks, but it doesn’t have to. Over the last year I have learned so much. My dad died from suicide. He seemed happy. He never showed any signs of depression. People ask me, “Why didn’t you stop it?’ I could not have done anything. I did not know he was going to do this. Suicide can be a result of depression. It forms when you keep your emotions inside and bottle up feelings. He was not a bad person. He loved me very much. He wasn’t just having a hard time.

Getting through this wasn’t easy but i learned how to cope. I miss him very much and think about him everyday. It’s okay to cry. I cried every night for a week after I got the news. It’s okay to feel like it was your fault. Remember that you never did anything to hurt him. I finally got happy a year later. I realized that being sad is okay, and you need to think about it and go through it. It isn’t easy, but it can be done.

Appreciate What You’ve Got

By Dominick Hardin  

I want people to understand that you can have it all one minute, but then it’ll be gone the next. So therefore I feel people need to understand how to appreciate the things and people in their life. No matter what happens.

Kate’s Club hosts a Memory Walk each year to honor their loved ones. Memory Walk 2015 will be held Nov. 15 at Piedmont Park. Details and registration are online at katesclub.org.