I lost myself for a moment in your eyes.
And I can’t lie every moment with you has been bliss.
But I miss the part of myself that was here before you were.
The part that was sure of her dreams and how to chase them despite their uncertainty of her. Assured of who God called her to be.
The girl that kept promises and sought to hear God.
The girl who didn’t need a cosigner, just a moment to shine.
A moment She would never be prepared for but knew The Lord would always have her back.
I miss her. That girl.
The one I could recognize despite the lies she believed about herself.
The one I could greet in the mirror and still hold my chin up at.
I was her.
That girl who never faltered.
That girl who knew even when she slipped up her conviction was never squandered.
That her purpose was never paused.
That her qualms would always be solved.
That girl had a foundation of faith that didn’t shake.
That girl was blessed with barrels of praise.
That girl knew the prowess of her name.
But unlike me, that girl didn’t tame it just to save face.
With grace, she made sure her name penetrated like the bullet of a gun.
And the recoil was like a lump in the back of your throat.
You couldn’t escape it, with every letter scraping away at the walls to escape this enclosed space to finally say:
Zayla.