Does anyone ever ponder on the thought that they were never asked to be here?
But we’re shamed if we choose not to stay?
We’re Forced to see it through
Though it was set up from the start
I ask God: Why do you choose to exist?
Why must you crave for this monotony to persist?
You took away my options leaving me to fend for the truth
you so effortlessly wave in the face of humanity.
Cause it seems we’re the only ones who haven’t figured it out.
Because we are the only ones equipped to doubt.
Why must you create us to always be incomplete?
Just a bunch of fixer-uppers looking for a tune-up
Wondering why:
Why?
Why me?
Why am I here?
Why do you hear me my pleas, but not once have you interfered?
I’m angry because I can’t live this life without you
But it seems your plan can go on without me
Why must we play this tit for tat?
You lead me to believe I have the upper hand
But all along there was a knife in my back
This gash you left
Is the birthmark of my faith
A constant reminder to me of the abusive role you play
But I hunger for you the way a hurt woman yearns to be seen
But from all this pain I’ve drawn an epiphany
Though I’m angry I can help but be grateful.
Though your methods are a bit distasteful.
You’ve set me on a path that was a set up from the start
But who knew your vision would impart conviction in my heart
A path from innocence drawing me to the desires of what you’ve created
I don’t understand why you’ve tempted me with things that
seem like
they can fill this hole you left in me
But it’s never quite right
I’m grateful that you give me reminders that I can only be filled by you
Because anything else would only survive in this world
But I want something that fills me that’s multi-dimensional
I thank you
Because sometimes I don’t see what’s right in front of me
The foggy mist blinding me from the blessings you have in store for me
I’m sorry
Because I can’t promise you I’ll stay with you forever.
Some days I’ll carry on, gather my things like a vagabond and I’m off
But you knew that
So you made yourself accessible to me even when I’ve convinced myself that you haven’t.
You are the Father that I never knew I had.
I love you.
