Blinded By Devotion

The nagging calls my name, in my mind the twisted voice grows louder,

I’m forced to answer. I fell prey to it’s empty words once again. My knowledge tells me not to listen, but I still fall into this whirlpool. 

Spiraling. 

I am blinded by devotion. I’ve sold myself into its clutches, I scold myself on its behalf to ashes. I am blinded by devotion. Its lies are sweet, similar to pomegranate seeds

I’m wrapped back here. 

They grow sour on my tongue. They root themselves deep into my belly. A shrub sprouts from my mouth. At first, I thought nothing of it. This tree is now growing, this tree is deep rooted, this tree is sickening, this tree is embedded, it is deep seeded, it should be uprooted. 

It’s sickening and sour yet I still eat its fruit. I am its soil and I have been for quite the time. It needs me to survive, to continue to believe its lies. It needs me to survive and I don’t need it to get by. How and why does it uphold such a power over me?

I am blinded by devotion and it is evilest when I’m down.

However acknowledging this tree brings me closer to sawing it down, uprooting all of it’s lies, until I am no longer blinded by devotion.

Author’s note: Thank you so much for reading my poem. It’s back story focuses on a person who is battling negative thinking patterns, and feels hostage to their own mind. They are conscious of it however they still fall into it. They acknowledge the fact that in the past it wasn’t very recognizable. It started as something small (this could be up for interpretation as generational negative pattern and/or a personal negative pattern) they didn’t pay attention to, neglecting to realize what it would turn into in the future. They often feel defeated and hopeless but they continue to have hope, knowing that with each time they fall prey to this pattern, they understand its ways and this will help them overcome it, with reflection, trust and hope. They trust that they will overcome this negative pattern and place a positive and healthy pattern into their space.

I used the symbolism of pomegranates for inspiration from the story of Hades and Persephone. In some versions of the story, Hades tricked Persephone with pomegranate seeds and she’s stuck with him for half of the year.  Additionally, pomegranate trees start off as small shrubs that grow and are trained into trees. With this I wanted to show how small bad habits can become larger and more unhealthy over time.

Thank you so much for reading my piece and I hope that it was an interesting experience.