When you say “I love you,” do you know what that means?
Because to me when I say “I love you” it means I think of you when I’m supposed to be taking someone’s order.
It’s so bad they have to repeat themselves because I was so caught up in the vestiges of you I have stored in my mind.
When I say “I love you” it means I still think about getting your favorite snacks even when you’ve made me mad.
Because I love you in a way that understands I won’t be upset forever. And I’d rather come back with the flowers of my affection because I know this is just a temporary suspension.
When I say “I love you,” to me that means taking any opportunity to see you even if it’s just for 15 minutes.
Because to me loving you isn’t capped with time limits
it’s infinite.
Is that what love is to you?
It’s not.
And I know that to be true.
Because when you said “I love you” it was coupled with short yet distanced responses.
Your words of affirmation came with an expiration because the very things you scorn me for were once the apple of your admiration.
Your I love you’s sounded like apologies
As if you were sorry you ever got involved with me
Like it was a bandaid to any damage you could have caused me
Your I love you’s felt like daggers camouflaged as Cupid’s arrows
I was so stupid to open up to you
But knowing the damage you would do I still let you in
Because a small part of me
A large part of me wanted you to love me the way I loved you.
Guess I was asking too much of you then, huh?